Christmas Time!

I had some thoughts as to what I wanted to type but now my mind is blank (no comments thank you). Kaleb is watching Home Alone for the umpteenth time. Abbie is playing with the blocks but her brother and sister keep trying to tear it done. SO all she is really doing is whinning which is just making my headache worse. I should probably get dinner started but I don't feel like doing that either.

I finally mailed out Christmas cards today. Every year I have all intentions of doing cards but then time gets away from me. This year I was determined to get them done. Some may not get them till after Christmas but at least I sent them. I had really wanted to get a family picture taken since we haven't done that since before Sophie was born a year and a half ago. Oh well people don't really want to see a picture of me anyway. I only got one good one of the kids. Sophia was not in the mood to have her picture taken.


Well this sounds like a pretty down post so far. I probably should just wait and do this later but I don't know if I'll have time later. Work has been very crazy lately. We are starting a new service on January 7th, so I've been working on redesigning how our bulletins are laid out. We got a new worship program to run our songs and powerpoint on in the sanctuary which I really like. It's very easy to use which is nice. Right now I'm the only person who will be able to run it during both services. I'm hoping to get a few more people trained on it soon. I really don't want to have to sit through two services. Our early one which is our new one is going to be more informal where as the one we have now at 10:40 is a very traditional service. We are hoping to bring some younger people into our church with the new service. The only problem I really have with it is that its at 9:15a.m. which is a little hard to get to if Justin closes on Saturday night because he doesn't get home till 3a.m. or so.

I'm looking forward to getting to visit with The Park's and The Caldwell's next thursday. I'm excited to finally get to see their new babies.

Well this post really has nothing to do with the title but I'm not going to change it. Since I probably won't be on here again before Christmas let me wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

Harvest Fest

Well Saturday night was our annual Harvest Fest. We have usually had this on the same night as Halloween but this year we decided that it would be better to move it to a different night. This was also the first year that I was in charge of organizing the whole thing. Let me tell you this is not one of my stong points. I am great at the computer stuff but not so much the organizing of an event of this size. We do not have a huge church and the age range is wide so it was really hard to know just how many people to expect to attend. We didn't have much when it came to games but the kids seemed to have fun. We had face painting and pumpkin coloring and Pinatas which I think were the biggest hit. We had a hayride and would have had a bonfire but there was a high wind advisory Saturday night and we thought it was best not to have a huge fire going. We ended up having over 125 people come. We had seating for 80 up originally in the gym and had to keep adding tables. I really wish that I had some pictures but unfortuately the batteries on my camera died the day before and I didn't have time to get new ones. The night was a big sucess and I had many people I had to thank for all their help. I've been told by so many people how much fun they had and it makes me feel good but I have to say I owe God so much praise. I was here Friday night trying to get a few things done with the kids running around and I just stood in the gym and prayed and put the night in God's hands and asked that He would be blessed and honored by the night. This was a party but also a night of outreach to our community and friends and family. There were a few crazy times, like frozen hot dogs and missing kids (mine) but everything worked out great. I've I'll ready started thinking of all the things I would like to do next year. I was wornout by time I left late Saturday night and thankful that we got to set our clocks back an hour, but I knew that in the end everyone had fun and the most important person I had to thank for that was my Wonderful, Loving, Gracious Father in Heaven.

God's in Control

Ok so today I was happily chatting away with a friend of mine when I saw that I had received a new email. I opened up my mail and it was a note from a friend of mine from high school who was pregnant with twins the last I had talked with her and was due anytime now. I thought well she must have had the babies early. As I read on through her email some other things jumped out at me and I decided I needed to pick up the phone. So I called Julie who lives out in Salt Lake City now and yes she had her babies back on Aug. 28 when she was only 27 1/2 weeks along. The babies shared a placenta and one was getting 70% of all the nutrients and stuff and the other was only getting 30%. Because they took them so early both have had problems with fluid on the brain. They are both very cute little boys who are now 4lbs and 3lbs. They are still in the hospital not quiet ready to come home yet but are doing better. The next thing was the main thing that made me pick up the phone and call her. Julie was diagnosed with Lymphoma when she was 20 weeks along. She was having a lot of trouble breathing and really just thought it was part of her pregnancy when they finally did a chest x-ray they found a mass about 16 centimeters. They are not able to operate on it but she is doing chemo. The mass is down to about 7 centimeters and she is feeling pretty good. She said she has been blessed by a church family that is bringing them meals and taking very good care of them. She knows God is in Control and that His will will be done in all of this. I can only pray that if I had this much stuff happen to me at one time that I would still trust that God is in control and that no matter what he will take care of me and my family.

Julie asked me how things were going with my family and I felt guilty because we have been so blessed lately. Justin has just recently gotten a promotion to another store. He is working a little farther from us but we didn't want to pass up the opportunity. The kids have colds but otherwise are doing very well. Sophia may only be 16 months old but she has no fear. She's climbing up on everything and getting into everything she shouldn't. Abbie is in a reading group in kindergarten and I've received several compliments about how well behaved and mature she is. I don't know if we see the same girl but really Abbie is a sweetheart even if she already thinks she's smarter than me. Which I don't have any doubt that in time she will be. Kaleb is going to be 4 in just a week and a half. He's my boy and I love him so very much. I love them all don't get me wrong. Kaleb is quite a character. He has two favorite outfits he wears around the house because I won't let him wear them outside the house. The jeans have a zillion holes in them and the t-shirts are too small but he doesn't care. I'm still working at our church. Things are going pretty well. We are starting a second service in January. It's going to be a less formal type of service. Our church is very traditional but we want to be able to reach out to others who may like something a little more informal. You know no choir or organ playing, less hymns and more contemporary music. There are a few that think we have just thrown the church to hell and that we are just going to fall apart but yet they are still coming. Yes, we have some of those people who feel that even though the bible says not to judge that they are somehow not included in that. God is doing some amazing work in our church and I have no doubt that some may leave but I truly believe that we are following God's will and that our church will be blessed in the long run. We aren't a big church. Our average attendance in only like 175. We don't have to have a second service for space we are doing it more in hopes of bringing others in. We recently learned that only about 10% of people in the area even know we are here.

So this is all that is going on here. Actually I am also in charge of our Harvest Fest this Saturday. I don't know how good it will be I just know that God is in control and that the kids will have fun and that I am doing the best job possible with only a couple weeks of planning. This is really not my thing but somehow it is all working out. Who knew? Anyway these are the things going on here in the cool air of southern ohio. It was 29 degrees last night. BRRRRRRRR

Many, Many Things

First I will start with the happy exciting thing. Abbie started kindergarten today. I was more scared about it than she was. It was a little hard watching her get on the bus this morning. I know that she had a great time today. Kaleb will start preschool in a couple weeks. He doesn't start until September 14. He doesn't understand why he's not going yet and Abbie is. I think that he misses his sister. They may beat up on each other but they have a great bond that I think will be there forever.
Sophia is finally walking it only took her till she was almost 14 months old to do it but she finally did. She is such a sweet little girl, but we have discovered that she has her mothers lack of patience and temper.

Now I am going to step onto my soap box and tell you a story about a three year old boy named Marcus. Just over two weeks ago hundreds of people came together in search of this little autistic boy who went missing from one of the parks just a few miles down the street from us. He went missing after his foster mother passed out due to heart problems. Now two weeks later the foster parents have been charged with his death and many other counts. Well over the last couple of days the real story has come out and it truly breaks my heart. Back on August 4 the foster parents David and Liz Carroll wrapped Marcus in a blanket with his arms behind his back and then wrapped packaging tape around him. Leaving his head uncovered. They locked him in a closet and then left for 2 days to go to a family reunion. When they came home he was dead. They did not do anything until on Aug. 10 a social worker came by and they told her he was in bed sick. The social worker had bad knees and did not go up to see him. At that time if I understand correctly David Carroll had already taken Marcus’ body out to a farm about 40 minutes from here and burn him. August 15 was when they staged this whole thing were he went missing at the park. It’s a sick and twisted story that just truly boggles my mind that people really are that evil. Here are a couple of links if you want to see anymore info on this. http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060830/NEWS01/608300348 , http://www.wkrc.com/News/Local/story.aspx?content_id=0B456EE5-5932-47A9-A536-3C74062D4048 I think what bothers me most about this is that this little boy died probably never really knowing what it was like to be loved. It just breaks my heart that he had to go through so much at such a young age. It makes me look at my life and realize how truly blessed it has been.

Friends

Yesterday I had the chance to help surprise my friend Angie for her 30th Birthday. Angie and I have been friends since we were little girls and she is still one of my closest friends. Angie, Missy and I were together all the time growing up. Angie and I have remained the closest but the three of us are slowly coming together again. Missy went through a hard divorce last year and has really grown and changed since then. Angie and I have both been married to wonderful men for 9 years now. It is so great to be able to still be friends and to still share so much together.


Above: Missy, Angie, Me, Jessica

We had a great time at Dave and Buster's last night. Angie was very surprised. So what that Missy and I got her to her party 45 minutes late. We can't help that there was an accident. Well if we would have left on time maybe but well we still had fun. Back in May we celebrated Missy's 30th birthday and now in 6 months we'll celebrate mine. It's amazing how much we've changed but it's still great that we have remained friends all these years.

I am Blessed

Lately it seems like many people around me are having marriage problems. My sister and her husband are pretty much ready to call it quits. My good friend is having a really hard time with her husband and they have baby number 3 on the way in just a couple of month. I always find it hard to know what to say to people who are having problems in their marriage because their husband doesn't help. That's all I ever hear from my sister is how her husband doesn't help around the house or with their son. I don't know what to say to that. I have a husband who does not hesitate to help me when ever I need it. Sometimes I have to ask but most of the time I don't. Like yesterday when he finished painting the entry way wall that we had to get a special ladder for because it's so high. He did this while I was at work and he was home with the kids. Then he made the kids pancakes for lunch too. After I got home from work he went out and mowed the grass and sprayed for weeds. Then we all went to his softball game. When we got home Justin decided to give Kaleb a hair cut, which really isn't too hard. Then while the kids were in the shower he cleaned their room up and then scrubbed the bathroom, shower and all for me. I never once asked him to do any of it he just did it. That is why I am blessed. I am blessed with a husband that has a servant heart who loves to help me and do things for me. I always make sure that I let Justin know just how much I appreciate all he does for me. We really work well with each other and after all the complaining I hear from others it just makes me more thankful for Justin. God has blessed me so much with a great husband and father for our kids. I just can't thank God enough.

getting older

I had to send away for Abbie and Kaleb's birth certificates today. I don't know why we never picked up Abbie's while we lived in Las Vegas, but with Kaleb we moved too soon after he was born to be able to get his. When we were there a little over 2 years ago we had planned to pick them up but again failed. So today I sent away for them and hopefully I will recieve Abbie's in time to register her for Kindergarten. Originally we were going to homeschool Abbie, but after looking over our schedule and what we would need to do for Abbie to make sure she had the best homeschool experience we were afriad that we would not be able to accomplish that goal. We talked it over with her and she really likes going to school and being with other kids. I know we could have gotten her into a homeschool group but then because of our schedules and the fact that Justin would be the one having to take her it just was not going to work out. I feel good about this and think that for now this is the best thing we can do. Since I work in the morning and Justin most afternoon it just makes our schedules tight. There are many times when justin and I only see each other for about 30 -45 minutes total in a day. We are going to see how this goes and then next year re-visit the situation and see if we want to change it. I just can't beieve that Abbie is 5 and going into kindergarten and that Kaleb will be in pre-school this fall. He'll be 4 in Novemeber and just doesn't seem right. Then I think I only have just under 7 months till I turn 30. Where has time gone?

listening

I am actually sitting here listening to some of Joe's messages from lifelines. It is weird to hear him speaking. It's been a long time since I have heard Joe speak and I haven't realized how much I missed listening to him. I'm looking for a message that might be good to pass on to my cousin. I enjoy them all so I may just have to send the link to all of them to him.

"The safest road to hell is the gradual one- the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turning, without milestones, without sign post" C.S. Lewis

the strangeness of life

Recently I have been IM my cousin Joe who is stationed in England with the navy. It's been odd because I haven't seen him in over 14 years. My uncle and his mom were divorced and my cousins Joe and Jason didn't much like to come and visit their dad. I have been emailing and talking to Jason's wife Katherine for almost 5 years now. She has always kept me somewhat up to date about what was going on with Joe. I have to say that I have really enjoyed getting to talk to him again. Now that we are older and can have somewhat more mature conversations. It's kind of odd to think that he was 13 and I was 15 the last time we saw each other. We have both grown and changed so much. We both have kids (me 3 him 1). He's been married and divorced already. Justin and I are getting ready to celebrate our 9th anniversary.
Joe and I were chatting earlier about different things we like now, trying to get a better perspective of who each other is. We talked about music likes and dislikes and I always surprise people there. We talked about books and we talked about religion. He doesn't really follow any. He was raised Catholic and just doesn't have a use for it right now. I'm not going to push him and tell him he's going to hell, because I am not perfect. I have many faults and one of them right now is my not so there walk with God. I may work in a church office and help in a service but at this moment my walk is about 0. I have no quiet time and I have no prayer time. Well I take that back. I pray on my way to work every morning. At this time though I am not making a space for God in my life. That is where this conversation with my cousin comes in. Because it really made me think about what I would like to say to him and talk to him about. First I need to work on me before I can be any good for anyone else. I need to make a place for God again. I need to not just do things out of habit but because I want to and need to. well I need to do a lot of things so I best be getting busy.

recent pictures

Abbie and Kaleb playing in the pool on vacation

Sunrise in Duck, North Carolina

this was the view from our deck outside our bedroom

My sisters and I at a friends wedding Justin and I at the wedding

Sophia celebrating her 1st birthday

Mommy still can't believe she's already 1. They grow up so fast.

UFC

On Sautrday night I went over to a friends house and watched the UFC (Ultimate Fighting championship). I read a book(what's new) and one of the people in it was part of the UFC. So I started watching some of it on Spike TV. I have to say that it's really fun to watch. My girlfriend, Sherie and her husband Tod, are big fans too. I wish that Justin could have gone with me to watch the fights and to watch the guys I there fight too. He of cource was working. So I went on my own and the kids went to grandparents houses. I have to say that I loved watching the fights. The last one almost put me to sleep though.

I was going to go see Pirates of the Caribean with a couple of my girlfriends yesterday, but the next three shows were already sold out. It worked out well because Justin was a little upset that I had chosen to see the movie without him. Now we can see it together.

Kids are running around and Sophia wants out of her high chair so I better go.

more thoughts

in my earlier post i was said something about someone reading over my shoulder. Well I was at work at the time and it was the man whose family has been going to our church forever. He's one of those weird old guys that just freaks me out sometimes. He came by the church to fax a few things and I had to help him. He doesn't hid the fact that he's trying to look at what I am doing. Then he took up all my time so I really couldn't finish earlier.

I'm tired so I'm kind of just typing what comes into my head. This is not always good. Most things that pop into my head don't make a lot of sense.

I had to bribe Abbie to let me get on the computer here. I should make dinner but I really don't feel like making anything. The kids don't eat anything anyway.

It's really weird but recently I have been in touch with my cousin joe who I haven't seen in 14 years. There's a lot of back story there but it's not all that important. What's nice is that I'm getting the chance to get to know my cousin again. I keep in touch with his brothers wife Katherine. I wish they all lived closer, but like most of my favorite people they live far away.

Justin was looking for flights today and it looks like we are going to fly to vegas the last weekend in September/first of October. It's been over 2 years since we've seen most everyone. We were talking about it the other day and we have now been living back in ohio longer than we lived in vegas.

Well it is probably best for me to get off of here now. Sophia has managed to climb into Kaleb's bed somehow. I better go and get her out.

Catch Up

Life is slowly returning to a somewhat normal pace now that most of the summer activities we had planned are done.
We had a great vacation. I loved being right on the ocean. It was such a beautiful and relaxing sight. The kids had a great time. Kaleb didn't much like the ocean but Abbie loved it. We had our own pool though which was great. We were in the Outer Banks area of North Carolina - Duck, NC to be exact. It was a great place to take the kids because the beaches were more private and not over run by people. There were more houses than hotels.

My baby turned a year old. I can't believe that Sophie is one already. Where did the time go. I still have a picture of her on my wall in my office of her from last year during Vacation Bible School. She was only 2 weeks old then. This year during VBS she was clapping along with the songs.

We had a great visit with Dave and Amy Carder and their kids on Sunday. It was great to get to spend sometime with them as they make their way back to Vegas.

Justin and I are still planing on coming out to Vegas to visit in September or October.

Well someone is here and he is reading over my shoulder so I am going to go.

Vacation

At the rate that I am going I am going to need a vacation from my vacation. It is very hard to get a family of 5 together for a trip. Justin and I are on opposite schedules until we leave so we don't really have each other for help. Sophia who is now 11 months old is teething like crazy, therefore she is very fussy. I just keep looking forward to Monday. We will be waking up on the beach that day. We are leaving shortly after Justin gets home from work on Saturday and then continuing on on Sunday. I think the kids will do well. They have their DVD player and Leapsters and gameboys. I'm just excited to be going on vacation for an entire week. Justin and I haven't done anything like this since our honeymoon. The big difference this time is the 3 kids and his family coming along. Oh it would be pure heaven if it was just Justin and I going, but I am also excited to have the kids with us. My in-laws will be with us also so I am hoping for some help so I get a chance to relax.

I think I am going to get all my projects at work finished so that is good. We're having a FIESTA the week of June 19-23. Vacation Bible school is our church's biggest outreach to kids in our area. We usually have over 100 kids. That's quite a lot for a church of just over 200 people. My pastor and boss Dave is on fire right now with the mission and growth of our church and it's future. Our church has been around for a very long time and there are some people who come who have been around for quite a bit of that time and are fighting some of the changes. I really feel like something big is going to happen at our church this year as long as we don't let ourselves get caught up in arguing about things. Our Elders have developed a new mission statement for our church its, "Loving Christ by Loving others and leading them to Him" I am excited to see where we go with this and how we actually live it.

Well I was going to sit and relax a long time ago. So now I am going to sit and read for the next couple of hours. I should go to bed but who needs sleep.

Life and other things

Lately I have felt like I am always one step behind on everything. I have all these balls in the air and I think I am doing really good keeping them up there then out of know where one drops and I have to quickly try to get it up again before any more follow. My job, which I love, has all of the sudden become much more demanding. I love this though because I feel like I am actually earning what they pay me. I have taken on a side project designing a powerpoint for a Jewish Messianic Ministry that is working on developing this Field of Hope in Isreal I believe. It's great money and I am having lots of fun playing with powerpoint. The only problem is finding the time to get this done. I don't have time at work because I have work to do. I don't have time really at home because I have house work to do and 3 kids. Sophia is crawling and getting into everything. She's gated in the living room but she finds her way out all the time. Kaleb and Abbie both want my attention which I want to give to them. Kaleb loves playing outside. The weather here has been iffy but it's getting better now and I want him to be able to play outside. The problem there is that our back yard is not fenced in yet. It's on the list of summer things to do but who knows. I don't like to let Kaleb play outside unless I am in the Kitchen where I can see him because he likes to walk off and into the front yard. Abbie would be happy if I let her play on the computer all day long but we've set time limits because we don't want her staring at the computer all day. She has her own computer now that my dad built for her and it's in our living room so we can see everything she's doing which is nice but now she wants on it all the time. I keep telling Justin we need to get them bikes but we have yet to do that. Anyway back to my thoughts at the beginning I just have so many things pulling me. I am also the Co-director for our vacation bible school, which I actually enjoy doing also. That is only 4 weeks away and I have many things to finish before then. The one problem with that is that we are going on vacation June 3 -12. Don't get me wrong vacation isn't a problem it's just I have several things I need to have done before we go. I should say several things I want to have done. There are also several things around my house that need to be done. We're working on them but it's tough. We are going on vacation with Justin's family and his sister is super organized when it comes to things like this. We are renting a house on the beach in Duck, North Carolina for one week. She has 5 hugh contains full of things they are taking like we are going to be there for a month. Me I'm lucky to have groceries in the house right now and clean clothes for the kids. I'm thinking I'll stop at Wal-Mart on the way and get the rest of the things that I need. We don't have enough room in our van to begin with. I am not packing everything. I just feel like I am behind on things but I keep telling myself that I have kids and Justin's sister doesn't. She also only works part-time so she has more time to get things together.
I know everything will work out in the end and I will get it all done because somehow I always do. Now though I need to go and get some address put in the computer and type a letter to the radio station we want to have our Vacation Bible School announced on and well you know there's just a lot, but I love it all.

A Love Letter From God

My Child
You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God

A Friend of mine showed this too me the other day and Dave my boss and Pastor is using this in his message this weekend. I thought it was really good and I wanted to share it with all of you. Jenn

stuff

I couldn't really think of what I wanted to title this. I don't really know why I felt that I had to title it. Basically I just thougth that I would ramble on a bit. I'm at a standstill with things here at work. I have bulletins I need to do for our Good Friday service and I have bulletins I need to work on for our Sunday service but I do not have service orders and the such to finish what I need to do. Therefore I finished a book that I was reading and decided that I would blog a bit. I don't have too much to say. The family is good. Well my kids and husband are. My sister Stephanie is thinking about getting a divorce. Her husband and her just had their 2 year anniversary. She's working a lot and going to school and she feels he doesn't love her. I love my sister but I feel it all goes both ways. She's always quick to put her husband down infront of us. Now I ask would that make you feel loved. I don't know what to do, but pray. She won't listen to me because she thinks I'm just trying to mother her. She's always felt that way about me. I just hope that she'll wait before she makes a rash decision.
I'm excited that my other sister Jessica is coming up from florida for a visit this weekend. This is just a short visit. She's going to come back in June for a month. I have not seen my sister and her 3 boys since last July. Jess and I have always gotten a long better.
I've started wondering lately if I am just not real good with relationships. I have a lot of friends but none that are extremly close. I'm good on the surface but I suck when it comes to really being there for someone. Then there's my extended family who I just feel awkward around. I ran into my Grandma and Uncle at the grocery store the other day and I didn't know what to say or how to act. It was just so weird. I love my grandma, I can tolerate my uncle, but I didn't know how to act. I guess at times I feel like people are always looking for a way to get out of a conversation with me. I am always afraid of talking too much. I've started to think that I'm not really shy it's just that my mom will talk to any one about anything and it embarrases me to death. It always has and I guess I'm afraid of that happening to me. So instead of talking to people I just kind of stand back. I don't know. I really didn't mean to get into this so much. I was just going to say a little something. Oh well.

comments

I just deleted a comment left on my last entry. I love being able to get commets from people but some of the things people leave that really aren't comments but are solicitations to get you to go to their websites. Some things I can ignore but when people start posting comments about free porn on my blog I don't really like it. Now I am thinking maybe I should take the comments option away. I don't know it just really ticks me off.

sick little girl

I have a prayer request for my daughter Abbie. She's been sick for the last week and she just doesn't seem to be getting over it. It started with a fever that just wouldn't go away. We took her to the doctors but they didn't really do anything for her. She won't eat which worries me. She really hasn't had much to eat in the last week at all. I can get her to drink some milk but that's about it. At times she'll seem to be doing better but then it's like she uses so much energy that she falls back to square one. Just keep her in your prayers.

secretary/listener

Sometimes I feel like my job is more than being the church secretary/office manager. I have had to learn to become a very good listener. Being here at the church people will often stop by just to talk to someone. Most of the time that I am here I am the only one here so I become the ear that they need. I have also become the ear for my boss. It's nice that he feels comfortable coming to me when he needs to just get something off his chest. He shares things with me and values my opinion on things also.
I have to say that I have not always been the best listener or the most compassionate person. I don't know if it's age/maturity that has changed that or what. I guess you could say that I've grown up some since becoming a parent. I'm still learning but it's a good start.

Next Blog

I've had a little time on my hands at work lately and I was looking through some blogs. I started clicking through the next blog icon at the top of the blogs. It is amazing all the different things people blog about and what you can find. There are many that are political and some like mine that just talk about family life. I came across one from a girl in New York who is blogging about her affair with an older married man. She's in her mid 20's and has a boyfriend, but she cheats because she can. See this is why I like to remain in my little bubble where it's safe and ignore the rest of the world.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

You know I think that I love coming to work because it's so quiet here. I'm here a lot by myself and even when the Pastors are here they're in their offices and I don't see them much. I do have a nice view outside from my office too which just helps it feel more peaceful. At home there is usually a TV on and at least one child running up and down the hall playing something. Abbie and Kaleb have taken to beating up on each other. Abbie seems to be the one who is always getting hurt. Kaleb isn't taller than her but he's bigger. Abbie doesn't seem to mind getting hurt though because she keeps play fighting with him.
Kaleb was mad at me for some reason and was having a fit on the floor and then he was fine and I was done talking to him and he looked so cute I made him stay like that so I could get his picture. He loves having his picture taken so he can see what it looks like on the camera.
We had Kaleb and Sophia dedicated this past Sunday. My sister Stephanie had her little (well he's not so little) boy dedicated also. This was about the best picture out of the 6 we took after church. Kaleb did really well. He stood up there with us and held my hand and smiled the whole time. Justin was holding Sophia and he was standing next to my sister who was holding her little boy Gunner. Sophia decided she liked rubbing Gunner's head while we were up there and everyone got a kick out of that.

I turned 29 last week. It has been a little weird for me. To me 29 seems so much older than 30. I don't really care that I'll be 30 next year but for some reason I am having a hard time with 29. I really don't feel like I'm that old. I've usually been one of the younger ones in my group of friends, but now I'm in the middle. I have friends in their early to mid 30's and friends in their 20's. I guess I really don't know where I fit in that group right now. I mean I know I'm in the middle but I feel like I'm in limbo in between something. Well to update those who care I have lost 11.2 pounds in the last 6 weeks. I'm very happy with that. I haven't taken any weird pills like my sister and I'm not starving myself. I've changed a lot of the things that I eat and have made better choices when we go out. I've cut out a lot of fast food which is saving us money too. Things are going well.

My husband has given me two mushy cards in the last week. One for my birthday and one today for Valentines Day. Usually he gets me funny ones, but it's nice to get a mushy one on occassion. I know he loves me though no matter what kind of card he gives me. He's my best friend. He's seen me at my worst and at my best. There is no other man in the world that I would want to spend my life with.

Saturday's

I snuck downstairs for a few minutes to get some laundry done and thought I would jump on the computer for a few minutes. Saturday's are the longest day of the week for me. It's the one day of the week when I am home the whole day by myself with the kids. Justin works days on Saturday so he leaves here about 8:45 and he'll get home around 7:30. Sometimes the kids and I will go out, but it's a lot harder to do things with 3 kids. I think once Abbie and Kaleb are a little older it will be easier, but right now I just can't do it on my own. So today we are spending the day in the house where it's warm. I've done some laundry and straighted up the house. I keep trying to read my book but I just can't seem to get into it. I finally read the 6th Harry Potter book this week. I love all the Harry Potter books. I'm not really sure why because they are not like what I normally read. I don't know what it is about them I just like the books. I really liked this one and I can't wait to see how she ends the story. Justin keeps trying to get me to read his Ted Dekker books but I just don't know if I can. The way my brain works I keep going over and over things in my head and I don't know if I could handle that with the way Ted Dekker writes. A lot of what I read are not too deep suspence and romance basically my way to get away from everything. There are a couple of good Christian authors that I like but sometimes their storys see very cheesey to me.
Well I spent more time down here than I thougth I would. I guess I better get on upstairs and finish putting away the laundry.

School Conferences

I'm sitting in my dad's computer room in my parent's home. My dad has 3 computers set up around his desk. Abbie is playing on nickjr behind me. It's nice to come down here and be able to play on the computer while Abbie does. This way I know what she's doing at all times. Today we had a conference with Abbie's preschool teacher. It was odd to be going to a conference for one of my children. Her teacher had nothing but good things to say about her. She did say that she is very soft spoken. I wish she was like that more at home. She did say that Abbie doesn't hesitate to volunteer for jobs and doesn't mind getting up in front of the class to say things. I don't know where she gets that from since both of her parents are scared to do that. We have decided to home school Abbie next year. Now we just have to figure out all the things we have to do. I think that Justin is really looking forward to teaching Abbie.

Well I was going to try to type some more but I hear another child calling.

New Year, Now What

Well we ended the year off with yet another funeral here. I have really gotten to know the men from T.P. White and Sons funeral home. Let's hope that with the new year there won't be as many deaths.

Things have been going great here. Justin is in a happy place and all is well with work. He has two great assistant managers who are really helping him. The kids are all doing well and I'm enjoying life too.

I've decided to use my blog as a journalling tool and accountabilty to help me as I begin this year not with a resolution to lose weight but with a desire to take better care of myslef and the body that God has given to me. I've struggled my entire life with my weight. I managed to get it somewhat undercontrol when I graduated from high school, but that didn't last forever. I currently weigh 110 pounds more than I did when Justin and I got married. Yeah, that's pretty much a whole person more. My desire is to lose 120 pounds before my 10th wedding anniversary in 2007. I have time and a desire now on to the next steps. I'm a chocolate junkie. I love dark chocolate the most. Many know I love to bake and that doesn't help either. I want to say that I am going to give up all junk food cold turkey, but do I believe that I can do this. No not really, but do I have faith that if I actually put all of this in God's hands it will all work out in the end. I know that it's not going to be easy. It never has been. I've let too much go and now I need to stop trying so hard on my own which we can see isn't working and start relying on God's strength.

I'll keep you posted.