My kids are such wonderful blessings to me. Each time I look at them I am just amazed by how creative God is. Each one has their own personallity and their own look. Abbie is my whiner but she is my most creative. She can make up all kinds of stories which also means she can lie pretty well too. I look at her and I see me. Not just in her looks but in her stuborness and her moodiness. I think that is why we argue the most. Kaleb is my sweetheart. He loves to give hugs and kisses. The only problem with Kaleb is he's bigger than your average 21/2 almost 3 year old. We are still working on what it means to be gentle. He tries it's just hard. Justin has already be showing him how to be a great blocker for football. Kaleb is our boy and he is all boy. He loves to bother Abbie because he knows he can. I look at them though and I am thankful that they have each other. They may fight and yell but they have a bond that will never break. Then there is my sweet Sophia. She has been my best baby so far. She comes with me to work everyday. She is very calm which is good when there's just one of you most of the time. She reacts well to Abbie and Kaleb even when they are right in her face. This is my family and I love them and thank God for them.
Justin's grandma past away over the weekend. I remember when he took me to meet her the first time. We had just started dating and he wanted me to meet his grandma. His grandma was the image of what you typically would think a grandma would look like. She was a short, round white haired little lady. Her house smelled of moth balls and she always wore skirts. I remember her home was just full of stuff that she had collected over the years. She loved to cook and loved to bake. She made quilts and was well known for them where she lived. Everyone knew Norma Cleaveland. I wish that my kids could have known her better. I wish that I could have known her better. She would have been 90 in November. She had a bunch of Grandchildren and even more great grandchildren.
I've been in a very reflective mood lately. I've been really good at going through the motions lately. Of doing the right things and being the person everyone thinks that I should be. I'm working on finding out who I am. Who it is that I want to be. I don't know. I could just say that I have a little post pardum depression but I think it is more than that. I'm not happy with myself as a whole. It's not just my body but my heart and soul. I need a makeover of my heart I think before I can work on the rest. Wow I don't know where all that came from but that is me and where I am. Now I must tend to my calm little girl who isn't so calm at the moment.
