houses suck!!

Our house is a little over one year old and it has had more problems than I want to deal with. The wall in our family room has a crack. Only about 4 feet of the wall is below ground. Well the last few times it's rained the carpet in the corner was wet. But we were never able to find where the water was coming from. About a week ago the builders came out and cut 4 nice large holes in our dry wall and pulled out the insulation and still found nothing really. The guy saw a crack but we weren't sure that was were all the water was coming from. Well lucky for us we have had a very rainy summer and on Friday night we were able to see that yes the little tiny hairline crack can let a heck of a lot of water in to our house. So today I am waiting for the guys to come and figure out how they are going to reseal and fix this problem permenately so that I can have the pad replace and the carpet fixed. The worst thing about all this is that I am severly allergic to mold and mildew. To come downstairs for any length of time lately has been hard. I get he worst headaches in the world. This means that I can't get on the computer that much either. Which drives me crazy because I can't keep up on things.

This brings me to my confession time. I haven't been a very good mother lately. In fact I just plain suck. I have been completely ignoring my children for about the last 3 months. All I do all day is read. I have been reading about a book a day for a while now. I can't help myself. I just finished a book that I started yesterday afternoon and I am trying with all my might to not go pick up another of the 10 I got at the liberay yesterday and start again. I've been hiding in my own little world lately and I haven't really cared. I have been so wrapped up in myself and how I feel that I haven't thought about my kids and how they are doing. Which they are both really great kids and are doing fine. They love to play together which is great for me. I forget sometimes how old Kaleb is now and all the things that he can do. Abbie is just too much like me when I was her age and I think that scares me. I don't want her to go through all the things that I had too to understand who she is and what type of person she will be. She's too smart for her own good most of the time.

Well that is it for confession time. I'm going to go back to waiting for the guys to come and fix the wall.

A Job??

Well there is a possibility that I could get a job at our church.  Our church has decided to set specific hours for the church secretary.  The lady who does the job now comes when she please and stays for however long she likes.  They want someone to come and work from 9-1 Monday through Friday.  My dad is on the board but doesn't want to put my name in because he doesn't want to show favoritism.  The thing is I could do the job easily.  It's all pretty much what I did when I worked at Canyon Ridge only on a much smaller scale.  Like instead of making 2000 programs for a weekend I need to only make 150.  I have talked to our pastor before and he knows I would love to work for him and he's told me before that he would love to have me work for him.  It's weird that I am praying for Tara to quit the job so that I can have it.  She doesn't even attend our church and there fore doesn't care what kind of job she does.  I really want this job and the hours work great with Justin's hours.  I can bring the kids with me on days that I need to which may only be 1 or 2 days a week and they can play in the nursery which is across the hall from the office.  It would be an ideal job.  We could really use the money right now too.  It might just be the thing I need to get me out of this funk. 

I have been sitting here reading some of the blogs that I read on a regular basis, but haven't been lately. I have a headache from a few of them. Everyone is just too damn deep lately, me included. Life is too short for some and I am tired of moping. I've been walking around feeling sad lately for God knows why and I just make myself angery. I have no reason to be sad or depressed. I have a Father that loves me know matter what, a husband and my kids, and my family, and wonderful friends all over the United States. God has given me so much so why is it that I am sitting here crying. I don't feel happy but I know I should be happy. I am lucky to not have had anything terrible ever happen to me in my lifetime. God has always been there and watched after me and loved me when I have been away. At this moment I am at my sisters home in Sarasota Florida. We visited the beach the other day and it was beautiful. God was such an artisit when he created all of this. Well I am going to go because I feel like I am rambling. I miss my husband too.

stuff

Abbie is sick for the first time in a long time, but she doesn't act like she at all. She has strep throat but you would never know. I wish she would be like every other sick kid and just want to lay around and rest. Luckily Kaleb hasn't gotten sick yet. Apparently several kids from vacation Bible school have gotten sick. I guess we were spreading more than the story of Jesus last week.

I got a speeding ticket yesterday and it just made me so mad. I was driving out of our neiborhood and the speed limit is 25 and I was watching for kids and I know that the Amelia police love to watch our streets. Of course I just didn't think about how fast I was going. The cop pulled me over after sitting behind me at the light at the top of our development. I was so mad. He clocked me doing 37 in a 25 and gave me an $80 ticket. It is just so stupid and I keep beating myself up about it.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I think in the last 2 months I have read about 20 books. I love reading it just takes me to another place. I keep thinking about maybe trying to write some myself. It's always been something I thought about, but I never really took the idea seriously. I don't know. It could just be another thought that I do nothing about.

My other problem is I have been a little depressed lately. I'm not really sure as to why. I keep telling myself how lucky I am and all that I have. Not just my family and stuff, but the love of God and all that that gives me, but my heart just keeps aching and I feel like I am on the verge of crying and just can't.

On a much happier thought, Our Vacation bible school had a total of 122 kids come and 16 of them accepted Christ. It was a wonderful thing to see and we want to make sure we do follow ups with all the kids that made a commitment. Also we do a penny challenge every year between the boys and the girls. They brought pennies in to raise money to buy Bibles through Bibles for the World to send to Ecuador, India, and Wales. Their goal was to buy 250 Bibles at $4.00 a piece. The kids raised over $1,700 last week. $1,000 went to the Bibles and the extra was given to the India Children's Choir who came and sang at our church on Sunday evening. The kids are like 3 or 4 generations removed from head hunters. They are on tour here this year and always need money for gas and clothes and things. I think it was so great that our kids got to be a part of that.

See so what do I have to be depressed about.

Fun!!

The last two days have been very busy. We are having Vacation Bible School at our church right now and I have been helping out. I have been doing registration, taking pictures, running power point and a bunch of other things. It has been a lot of fun really. Our goal this year was to get 100 kids to come. We have about 30-35 kids in our church so we had to get a lot from outside. My friend Joyce is the director and she kept praying about it, but didn't know if we would really get our goal. Well after much confusion on Monday during registration we found out that we had 102 kids, and then yesterday we had 112. The best thing of all though is to watch them sing to the music, screaming I think is a better term. They are having a blast and learning a lot. We have even had a number of teenagers who don't normally come to our church come and help. Which is great because they are hearing everything too. Overall I have to say that the first two days have been great. I'll have to get back with you about the rest of this week.